I hadn’t been "into town" for a while. I had been working long hours and when I got off I just wanted to go home to my peaceful little nest in the country and spend a few hours with my wife before I dropped off to sleep; but I finally had to go to the drugstore. Have mercy! Gas was over $4 a gallon and the insulin I need to stay above ground raised from $10 to $89 out of pocket. I sinned. I thought, "So this is how it will end. (My life, I mean) I am dependent on capricious pharmaceutical companies and I won’t be able to afford my insulin. What a bummer! I wanted to be a martyr, or maybe die trying to set a land speed record at Bonneville on my motorcycle, or something glorious like that; but it looks as though I will just be the victim of a ridiculous economy. My epitaph will say:
"The Boz; ’neath this stone doth lie.
His goals were so noble, and high.
But people got greedy,
and he became needy,
so finally he just had to die."
I sinned because I forgot about all the times that God has provided for me when the wolf was at the door. Correction. The wolf had burst through the door and had his teeth on my jugular!
Jehovah-jireh is the name Abraham gave the place where God provided the ram as a substitute sacrifice for Isaac. I love that story, but the "providence" story that I relate to most is in I Kings 17. A great famine had swept the land. This widow, along with her only son, was about to cook a "last supper" and then get ready to die of starvation. The prophet Elijah told her to make him a supper first and then she and her son could eat. By faith she watched the prophet gobble down the last of her provisions, but when she went back to the barrel, there was just enough for another meal. And so on it went throughout the famine and she survived. That is the way it has been for me. God has never dumped a big load of surplus on me. Perhaps He knows that if He did, I would trust in it and not in Him. There has always been enough in the bottom of the barrel, though.
Ps 37:25 I have been young, and now am old; yet have I not seen the righteous forsaken, nor his seed begging bread.
The rest of this essay will be my personal testimony to you, that you might not fear nor worry.
My wife and I got married while we were students in Bible College. Finances were always tight. About a year into our marriage, there came a day when we were flat broke. There was no food in our larder. We didn’t even have anything we could sell to get food except our wedding rings. We were 3 days away from the next paycheck. We went without supper. The next morning I went to classes and checked my mail slot. In it was a letter from someone I barely knew. Inside the envelope was a belated wedding card and a $10 bill! $10 would buy a week’s worth of groceries for two in that day. By that time I was planning on going into ministry and I knew preachers’ salaries were pretty meager. (Churches do much better now). I think it was the Lord’s way of saying, "Go ahead with your plans. I will take care of you."
The year on $800 a month.
In 1983 I was challenged to teach at a Christian school. I had two kids. My wife and I had made a firm decision that she would not have a job as long as we were raising kids. $200 a week was a bare necessity wage for a family in that Wyoming boom town, IF nothing unexpected happened. The coal and oil industry creates local inflation. Starting salary for a deck hand with no experience on an oil rig was $20 an hour for a 70 hour week. Prices for things in that town 30 years ago were about what they are now. I took the job. I taught 7th and 8th grade all subjects, drove the bus, was the janitor, and filled in for the administrator who had health problems. The school was on a 7000 acre ranch, so we cowboyed on weekends in the Spring. We made a garden plot out of sand and sheep dung. To everyone’s surprise, we had a lush garden in the midst of a shale wasteland. Dick, the ranch owner, let us teachers hunt. I couldn’t even afford ammo at the time, but we got lots of wild turkey and venison given to us. We wanted to go see my family in Missouri during Christmas break. We calculated that we would need $50 worth of gas to make the 1500 mile round trip. Dick had several rental houses. One was between renters and needed a thorough cleaning. Cindy, Nichole, Joe and I did it. Guess what we got paid. $50! After we got through paying bills that year, there was $5 left each week. During that year, none of us got sick enough to need a Dr. visit. We had no car expenses except gas and oil changes. None of our appliances broke. We didn’t need to buy new clothing. There were no financial surprises that whole year. We made it! My salary raised to a more comfortable level the next year.
In 1997 I made my first short term mission visit to Haiti. We were each allowed two large plastic tubs of medical supplies and toiletries on the plane, plus a carry on with our personal needs. We gave away our two tub’s worth pretty fast. We were nearing the end of our two week stay. We kept seeing people with vital needs. A friend of mine and I decided to give away all of our money and personal needs on the last day. We had our plane tickets home and that was all besides the clothes on our backs. Our footwear on the plane were the rubber sandals we used to shower in. We had several delays getting out of Haiti. In all, it took 24 hrs. to get home. It was about 10 hours until we got on the big plane at Port Au Prince bound for Miami. The stewardess came down the aisle with pop, crackers and peanuts. He looked at me and said, "You hungry?" "No. You?" "No." We passed up the freebies on the plane! A long layover in Miami and back on a plane bound for Toledo. Stewardess comes down the aisle. "You hungry?" "No. You?" "No." We passed up the freebies again! Finally home. "You hungry?" "No. You?" "No; I just want to get some sleep."
That time God didn’t provide the meals. He just kept us from getting hungry. That’s the way He works sometimes. Elijah made a 40 day journey on the sustenance from just one meal. (I Kings 19)
We supplicate often for good health and safety. Safety God has given; but not the best of health. We have spent many tens of thousands out of pocket for medicine since about 1986. Today, between my wife and I, we pay about $400 a month out of pocket for medicine. Were it not for insurance, our drugstore bill would be close to $2000 a month.
About a year ago, my wife got a case of the cancer. She went to the Stephanie Spielman center in Columbus, OH. The tumor was removed and we go back this month to see if any has come back. She has to take medicine for 5 years to keep it from recurring. With medicine, there is only a 5% chance of recurrence. Without, there is a 25% chance. That was going to cost us an amount out of pocket that would have put us in deep debt. We told her doctor that we just couldn’t do it and we’d have to take our chances without it. The Spielman center went to bat for us. We went back for an appointment. They got the price reduced to a pittance. "Cool!" said we. It is air mailed monthly and delivered right to our door!
I retired in 2011 due to poor health (kidney failure). Like most of you, I couldn’t really afford to retire. A renal specialist told me that at the rate my kidney function was declining, I had two months left before dialysis and I’d better get ready to make the adjustment. I was already spending so much time on Dr. visits, lab work, and insulin management that I knew I couldn’t do my ministry justice and do dialysis too. That was the last straw. At this time I am a little over a year from Medicare, but I hear that’s no picnic either. I pursued government "benefits". I worked for days filling out paperwork. One doctor told me to just give them a list of my prescriptions and that should suffice. I hit a brick wall. I decided that I’d have to be totally blind and missing both arms before I’d get any help from them. It’s obvious that they’ve taken their share out of every paycheck I’ve earned for about 50 years and they have no intention of giving it back when I need it. I was tempted to become an expatriate; but after reflection, I really don’t blame the federal agencies. I understand why they seem obstinate. There are so many people out there who don’t need benefits but they are getting them anyway by lying and "working the system". Heads will roll. People who have had the same hassle told me to get a lawyer. I checked it out. The lawyers’ fees would have been over half of anything I would have gotten; so I dropped that idea.
After I retired my health began to improve to the point I felt I could work again. I couldn’t go back into preaching because there were no churches close by in need of a preacher. I am at the point where a long move is nigh impossible. Our roots are too deep here. There are about 7 of them all under the age of 17.
God came to the rescue in a way I never expected. Along came a job offer from the most unlikely of places: A Farmers’ CO OP. I wasn’t looking for a job because at my age I felt my applications would be futile. A friend who worked at the CO OP said they needed help during the busy season. I went to the manager. "Can you pass a drug screening?" "I hope so." "Well, come in tomorrow after you go to the lab." "Well", says I, "Be forewarned, I don’t have much experience with chemical fertilizers and herbicides." "Aw", says he, "Once you get a snoot full of Anhydrous, you’ll learn."
Lots of fresh air and sunshine, lots of physical exercise, a friendly, fun crew to work with and a regular schedule. I’m physically worn out enough when I come home that I sleep like an angel. Evidently just what I needed! The busy season has come and gone but the manager has no present plans to lay me off. Now the financial pressure has eased. My kidneys have regained 40% of their function so far which puts me a comfortable distance from dialysis. I was in stage 4 which is the final stage and am now back up to stage 2. Not perfect, but functional.
I know we shouldn’t let right know what left does, but you need to know that we have never had to forsake our giving. We could have, and God may still have blessed us. Look at those who never give a penny and they have wealth untold. The tithe was always the most non negotiable thing in our budget, not because we believed God would bless us for giving or curse us for not; it is simply an urgency that the Spiritual nature gives us. I know what Malachi 3:10 says about giving the tithe and God will open up Heaven and pour out a blessing. It’s true. He does. BUT; people who give in order to get are viewing God as a Mafia Don who is running a divine protectionism racket. "Give, and I’ll make sure you don’t get hurt." They are simply missing the point. God doesn’t need my money, but as a person with a spiritual nature, I need to give. I need to give for the same reason a coyote needs to eat meat. To withhold is to deny my nature; my identity. The Christian needs an outlet for the new energy that is now coursing through his veins. To withhold is to stagnate spiritually.
I could go on and on singing the praises of Jehovah-jireh, and so could you; so if you are worried, I suggest you just sit down and start listing the times God has come to your rescue. He has fulfilled His promise to you or you wouldn’t be reading this right now. We just go from day to day like Jesus told us to in the first place; and there is always enough. Not a truckload. Just enough for each day. It’s been that way for 23,129 days now. I haven’t had to resort to stealing or begging. Don’t fret over the economy because there’s nothing You can do about it except prioritize your budget and start cutting out the stuff at the bottom of the list. Live within your means. I don’t think it will happen, but if I can’t buy food or medicine, I believe God will either make me healthy without medicine or give me the grace to die when the time comes. I didn’t figure on living forever in this world anyway.
I don’t ever want to take God for granted, but bless His heart; He is SO faithful and SO consistent that I’m afraid I do sometimes.
I think I will call this place Jehovah-jireh!
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